


Easier Said Than Done

by bethanyyerinn



Category: In Excess - Fandom
Genre: A little of Nik's POV as well, Angst, Fluff, I can't for the life of me remember Theo's last name, I refuse to compete with Quinn Anderson's expert smut, I seriously love tags, I try to stay in character but Seth is so hard to predict, M/M, Mostly Seth's POV, Nik on the other hand is always an adorable shithead, Romance, and indecision, lots of fluff, mention of sex but no actual smut, post-plot, so he's not so hard to figure out, tags tags tags, this is what I get for writing fic for a book that's super new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6624508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bethanyyerinn/pseuds/bethanyyerinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As always seems to be the case, Nik and Seth are not on the same page. So they're gonna go out to dinner to try and fix that. What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easier Said Than Done

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Welcome In Excess fans! We are currently a little fandom, since this book is fairly new, but I endeavor to change that one casual reference at a time! And apparently one fic at time. I just feel like this story has so much fic potential because the couple gets together so late in the game that there is so much aftermath to write!
> 
> If you have clicked on this fic because you've read some of my other stuff and you are like hm what's going on here, then it's your lucky day. If you like watching gay boys be the gayest gay boys and you haven't read In Excess, then you are wrong! In Excess by Quinn Anderson. Purchase it promptly, read the homoerotica gold, and then you can read this fic. 
> 
> Rated M for language and short, moderately graphic descriptions of sex. Not E because no smut. Apologies.

Nik was going to throw up.

No. Probably not. He didn’t exactly have a weak stomach. But “feeling butterflies” was a laughable phrase to him considering that the creatures fluttering around in his gut were the size of jumbo jets.

He was lying on his bed, his head hanging over the end so his view out the window was that of a tree upside down—perfectly trimmed branches took root in the darkening sky outside the glass and he wanted the beauty of nature or some shit to soothe him.

No such luck.

His door opened and he knew who it was without looking up. Only one man was comfortable enough not to knock and also understated enough not to announce his presence the moment he stepped over the threshold.

“I swear I could feel the tension halfway up the steps,” Theo said, his voice steady as a surgeon’s hands and bland as a hospital hallway as always.

Nik didn’t even know how Theo knew to come to check on him. Since he met the man a little over a month ago, he always had the most impeccable timing. The moment Nik was about to spiral into a panic (or more often a blinding rage) over one thing or another—almost exclusively pertaining to a certain spoiled brat that Nik was falling head over heels for against his better judgement—Theo always appeared in the nick of time to bring him back from the brink.

Theo liked to insist it was intuition, but Nik was leaning towards black magic.

The bed depressed by Nik’s hip as Theo took a seat next to him.

“Alright, out with it,” Theo insisted. “What’s going on?”

“Anyone ever told you you’re nosey?”

“Plenty of times. Now tell me.”

Nik sighed. Fine, he’d tell him, but he didn’t have to look at him while he did it. Theo always saw too much in his face. It was better to keep looking out the window. “Seth asked me out on a date.”

Theo was quiet for a long moment. “The guy you’re dating asked you out on a date… and that’s somehow alarming?”

“A little, yeah.”

There was another pause. “You’re going to have to explain this one to me.”

Nik was actually a little surprised there was a piece of knowledge that Theo couldn’t magically pull out of his ass. It was almost comforting that he didn’t, in fact, know _everything_.

Nik took another breath. “Seth is… not the most romantic creature.”

“I deduced as much.”

A tiny smile found Nik’s face. “He’s trying, I know he is, but for the most part, we fuck. A lot.”

“Yeah, I also deduced that—as did every other resident of Raven Hall, considering how often we all hear you two screaming about each other. I’m almost jealous I’ve never been invited. Sounds like a good time.”

Nik, as he usually did, ignored Theo’s flirtations. He continued, “We’ve watched movies together at his house that we fuck halfway through. He’s started to cook me dinner and then decided there’s time for a quick fuck before the water starts boiling.” Nik paused, that last instance entering his mind in detail unbidden.

That particular time Seth’d bent Nik over the table and clawed Nik’s back so badly that he was feeling it for a week, and for days Seth had occasionally crowded Nik into walls on purpose just so the memory of Seth inside him would flood back to him with every subtle sting. They ended up rutting against each other in abandoned corners of campus three times that week. Once a guy had found them and Seth had looked up, flashed his most devilish grin, and said, “Oh, Roger, hi. Have you met Nik?”

He’d scurried away without a word and Seth had leaned into Nik, saying, “You probably just gave him enough material to touch himself for the rest of the week.”

“Me?” Nik asked breathlessly, each exhale sounding like a tiny moan. “Don’t you mean you?”

Seth’s eyes had raked down him, flaming trails flicking at his skin, and he said, “No. I mean _you_.”

Nik’s pants were suddenly getting too tight and it was all too likely that Theo knew exactly where Nik’s mind had gone—could probably see the evidence of it, seeing as he was sitting about two inches from his dick, which was trying to call attention to itself.

“I’m assuming the water boiled away,” Theo said to bring Nik back to earth.

Nik shook his head to clear it. “You see my point,” he said quickly. “He tries, but we get so damn hormonal around each other.”

“Is that bothering you?”

Nik rolled his eyes. Theo was such a therapist. He couldn’t just listen to a story without trying to figure out where it was going.

“Shut up for a second and I’ll tell you what’s bothering me,” Nik said, trying to tone down the rudeness and failing.

Theo was obediently silent.

“My point is that we’ve never done anything romantic. It’s not like he gets me flowers or sends me good morning texts. It’s not like that with him. And then, out of fucking nowhere, he tells me he wants to go out tonight. Like, to a restaurant. I told him I’d walk to his place and he could take us to the restaurant from there and he said he’s picking me up whether I like it or not. And then Dante brought me a suit,” he added.

“Did he?” asked Theo in interest. I figured he might’ve known as much, but clearly Theo was not in on this particular plan as of now.

Or he was lying. Which Theo occasionally did.

It was impossible to know.

In response Nik pointed blindly towards the direction of his door, on which a black bag was hanging.

“So he has,” Theo said mildly.

“Yeah. And I asked what it was for and all he did was manage to be cryptic and patronizing at the same time, as per fucking usual. But I’m not an idiot. Obviously it’s for tonight.”

Theo seemed to be processing this. “I still can’t quite pinpoint the root of your anxiety. I’m going to need more information.”

Nik grunted, finally sitting up. He had to steady himself for a moment because he’d been upside down for so long. “Where do I start?” he asked. “First of all, why the hell do I need a suit?”

“Because the restaurant surely has a dress code,” Theo cut in.

“Why is he taking me somewhere with a dress code?” asked Nik frantically.

Theo looked like he was trying not to laugh at him. “Because that’s what rich boys do, Nik. It’s their version of hitting up McDonalds.”

Nik could see the logic in what Theo was saying, but was too worked up to really listen to it. So he just barreled on, “And what made Seth want to take me out suddenly? People take people out to confess things. What if he’s done something stupid again and he wants to butter me up with caviar so that he can admit it? Or what if he wants to tell me he’s bored of me or that commitment isn’t his cup of tea? I mean, you know Seth, he does completely inappropriate things at the most ridiculous times and he does _so_ _love_ to make me squirm, so—”

Theo held up a hand and Nik immediately shut his mouth and stared at Theo.

It wasn’t the hand that stopped him, but the look on Theo’s face.

He was starting to laugh. Really laugh. And getting more than a chuckle out of Theo was quite the task on most days.  

“What?” Nik snapped.

“Oh my god,” Theo chuckled. “I don’t know if you’re lying to me or to yourself, but it’s not working, so just quit it.”

“The fuck are you on about?”

Theo shook his head, continuing to laugh to himself for a moment before saying, “So you’re worried that Seth is going to try to fuck you right there in the restaurant.”

Nik froze. He vividly pictured in his mind Seth sitting across the table in all of his dark glory, fixing his blacker than black eyes on him, running them down his body, and then jumping over the table and stripping him right there.

Nik wanted to imagine himself finally putting his foot down and saying no, Seth, that’s completely crazy… but he knew the truth. He couldn’t deny Seth a damn thing when he really wanted it.

And with sex in particular, Nik always wanted it himself. He was getting so used to small moments of Seth’s exhibitionism that he was almost beginning to enjoy them. When that guy caught them and Seth had looked him in the eye and made sure he knew exactly who he had just walked in on, he’d remembered his abdomen burning with the thought that Seth wanted to advertise Nik—he not only was unashamed of Nik for his status, but he reveled in showing him off to anyone he could. The attentions were equal parts embarrassing and tantalizing.

It came down to this: if Seth stood over him in that restaurant and announced to the establishment that he wanted everyone to see just how delicious his little commoner was, Nik would unravel before him as he always did.

As usual, Theo had reached into the recesses of his mind and pulled out something he hadn’t even wanted admit to himself.

Nik thought for a moment about telling Theo he was wrong, but what was the point?

“I mean, does it seem out of character?” asked Nik weakly. “He’d love nothing better to assert his dominance over an entire building all at once.”

Theo huffed, somewhere between amusement and vexation. “Nik. Seriously, think about this. There are laws about public decency. He can’t just bend you over the table and fuck you right there. Even he isn’t that insane.”

Nik had heard both he and Dante make assumptions about what Seth might do before.

Even as smart as they both were, they were wrong as often as they were right.

Theo, as usual, knew where his mind had gone. “Seth wouldn’t get arrested for the sake of a good fuck, Nik. He’s too ambitious for that.”

“A month ago he was too ambitious to waste his time with dating at all and here I am,” Nik retorted.

“Dating and incarceration are two totally different things.”

“I bet he could get around the law,” Nik said with a wave of hand. “He could pay them off!” Nik realized. “He’s got the money!”

Theo sighed, running an exasperated hand through his crimson locks. “Okay, this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m just gonna say it. Nobody can make you do something you don’t want to do. You’re too stubborn for that. If he wanted to fuck you in the middle of a restaurant, you would stop him if you didn’t want it. So if he hypothetically paid the whole place off not to arrest him, you’d either punch him again or let him take you. Though I really do lean towards the prior,” he added pensively. “I miss his shiner.” Nik glared at the unhelpful aside and Theo went back to the point. “Your real issue isn’t that you’re afraid that Seth is going to display the extent of his exhibitionism. You’re realizing that you can’t even attempt to control yourself around him, that he makes you not even want to try. You’re starting to wonder if there’s absolutely nothing you wouldn’t do for him and that scares the hell out of you.”

Being friends with Theo managed to be equal parts frustrating and enlightening most days. He always knew what was going on in your head, even when you didn’t—which was helpful, of course, but also obnoxious.

Nik was ready to dramatically flop back onto the bed, but Theo managed to catch his arm before he could.

“Nik. It’s alright.”

“It doesn’t feel alright,” Nik muttered.

He wanted to look out the window again, but sea foam eyes implored him to keep eye contact. Nik reluctantly watched Theo as the latter gave him a small, fond smile. “You are mistakenly under the impression that you are the only one who’s ever felt this way. This is part of falling for someone for real, Nik. Realizing you’re not in control anymore. That someone else is more important to you than you are. This isn’t really new information to you. He’s been different since the first time you ever saw him.”

Nik finally couldn’t take the intensity of that gaze and looked down at his bed, at the covers he and Seth had violated time and time again… but the sweat and the screams weren’t what slithered into his mind. He was thinking about the times when they came back here after an especially long day and fell asleep in each other’s arms. The times they lie next to each other and just talked. The solitary instance where they had sat on this bed and played Go Fish because Seth was intrigued by the ‘commoner’s game’ when Nik referenced it in casual conversation.

“You know it’s not one-sided, right?” Nik looked back up to Theo with a questioning gaze, so he continued, “Seth would do anything for you.”

Nik snorted. “What? Have you met him?”

“Yeah, I have. I’ve known him for longer than almost anyone else, in fact, and I know that he’s crazy about you.”

Nik waved the comment off. “I mean, sure, he’s told me that he loves me, and I believe he does in the way Seth can love people, but I’ve known from the start that he’s in control of this whole thing and it would end the second he got bored of me.”

Theo was shaking his head, chuckling a little. “Nik, you don’t see this situation clearly at all. If Seth were in control, he would’ve told the school your secret and forced you to transfer. If he were in control, he would’ve let you get yourself expelled when you punched him. You have had all the power in this relationship from the very start and I can assure you that it ends exactly when you realize you’re too good for him and drop him like a hot potato.”

“Like he’d let me do that,” Nik said with an eye roll. “He’d follow me to the ends of the earth if I tried to leave him.”

“Because he can’t imagine going back to what it was like before you were in his life. If he dumped you, you’d shrug it off and move on with your life. If you dumped him, he’d fight tooth and nail to keep you. So who, dear Nik, is really in control here?”

Nik didn’t have an instant rebuttal prepared this time. Theo’s logic was starting to wriggle its way into his mind—not like it was unattractive to think about anyway. Did Seth really care for him so much? Was Nik really so important to him? Part of Nik knew that it was, to a point, true. Things had changed a great deal for Seth as soon as Nik had come around. Seth had allowed those things to change when he could’ve, as Theo mentioned, let Nik leave his life for good. Seth couldn’t go more than a couple hours without reminding Nik of his existence—it was always Seth that texted first or told him to come over.

Nik had always accounted that to Seth being far more social than Nik was—Nik was perfectly happy drawing alone for a whole evening without talking to anyone at all. He could forget about his phone for days at a time. In fact, Nik had done so one weekend, and Seth had barreled into the room after a day and a half of no contact and proceeded to fuck him into the sheets.

But if Seth was craving social interaction, he could spend time with anyone.

It was Nik he couldn’t get enough of.

None of this was really a revelation to him, but it had never occurred to him so blatantly that Seth might feel something closer to genuine love than Nik had thought him capable.

That maybe Nik wasn’t the only one of them that could no longer imagine a life without the other man.

“Finally, you’re listening,” Theo said, rolling his eyes. Then he stood. “How much time do you have before Seth picks you up?”

Nik looked over at his ancient alarm clock. “An hour.”

“Then we better get you ready.”

“I just have to throw the suit on,” Nik muttered.

Theo flashed a grin that was just a little evil. “Oh no. Seth’s not getting off that easy. He’s going to be drooling all over that absurd car of his by the time I’m done with you.”

Before Nik could ask what the hell Theo planned, Theo tugged him off the bed and to the bathroom.

* * *

 

Seth was nervous. It made no goddamn sense, but he was _nervous_.

This was all Theo’s idea and that was probably why. Anything that was Theo’s idea was usually something decidedly out of Seth’s comfort zone.

It’d been vague (unsolicited) advice, but it’d fueled this whole thing.

“You need to make a statement. Nik, for being smart, is stupid sometimes. He doesn’t know how you feel, not really. Do something big. Something he can’t misinterpret. If not, he might just give up.”

Seth had, at the time, ignored the tip. Had laughed it off, had probably made fun of Theo for thinking it—sometimes he couldn’t keep track of the things he said to Theo or Dante because almost every word of it was an offhand attempt to protect his pride.

But then Seth really thought about it. Would Nik decide that Seth wasn’t serious about this and disappear if he didn’t do something? Nik had said he wanted to date. Go out. That was a month ago now and Seth had not managed to deliver on that request. Was Nik silently getting impatient, deciding that Seth wasn’t worth his time after all?

Seth couldn’t let that happen.

So now he was waiting for Nik on the curb, strategically leaning against his car at the angle he knew made his body look the best. He looked stunning in an entirely black suit tailored perfectly to his body, accented only with a red tie and pocket square—every person that walked or drove by had trouble looking away from him. In the past two minutes he’d nearly caused three car accidents.

But Seth, who usually reveled in such attentions, noticed none of it.

He somehow managed to wonder if he looked good enough for Nik, who was bound to come out looking like some Greek god, making humble remarks about how he looked ridiculous in his monkey suit when he was one of the most delicious people Seth had ever laid eyes on.

Seth was originally going to pick Nik’s suit out for himself, but when Dante caught wind of his plan—he’d been in the house when Seth made the reservations a couple days ago and finagled the details out of him through manipulation and wine—he’d said it’d be ‘more fun’ if Seth didn’t know what Nik was going to wear.

Seth wasn’t sure he was capable of keeping his hands off Nik if he didn’t know what to expect when he saw him in a suit for the first time. What would Dante put him in? He wasn’t as dramatic as Seth when it came to clothing choices, but would he pick something gratuitous just to catch Seth off guard?

And why in all hell did any of this matter? Nik was a guy, a guy he was dating, and he was going to be in a suit. Whoop de fucking do. They were going to eat food together, an activity they had done on several occasions. They were going to a restaurant Seth frequented. None of this deserved his anxiety.

And yet Seth was ready to burst with it.

He felt like this was a pivotal evening. If he made one wrong move, Nik would suddenly decide this was all pointless and give up on Seth.

And Seth could try to seduce him into staying, but in the end there was only so much he could do. Nik’s interest couldn’t be kept with sex alone and if Nik decided he didn’t want to try anymore…

Seth was shit out of luck.

And Seth was unwilling to accept that.

The night was going to be perfect. It had to be.

Seth managed to be so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he didn’t see Nik approaching until he was only ten feet away.

It took self-control like he’d never exerted to keep his face neutral.

Dante, as usual, did his job well. Nik’s fitted suit was navy and his shirt was a clear blue like the late afternoon sky, making his eyes stand out like sapphires in his suntanned face. His black bow-tie only lightened his hair from gold to white, shining ethereally in the sunset—which was actually styled for once rather than looking sleep/sex tousled, which had to be Theo’s doing. Nik didn’t know enough about trends in fashion to do it himself.

The true genius, however, was in the square of pocket silk. It was a paisley pattern that was mostly navy and cerulean with accents of black and (most notably) green.

Seth had once said that Nik’s eyes had flecks of green in them. Dante never missed a single detail—but more than that, never missed a chance to make fun of Seth. He knew for a fact that splash of viridian was there to symbolize how quickly he had fallen for this kid—to taunt him for his sudden sentimentality.

And taunt him it did.

Nik was staring at Seth in something like wonder, and Seth couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve it when Nik himself was gorgeous beyond comprehension.

Day and night gaped at one another and felt inadequate by comparison.

Nik was already composing himself and flashing a casual smirk when Seth was still wondering how he was expected to go a whole dinner staring at this beautiful man without jumping his bones.

“And you’re still trying to convince me the goth thing was just a phase,” Nik said as he approached. Seth was blocking the passenger door, so he had nowhere to stand but right in front of Seth.

A strategic move, of course. If there’s anything Seth knew how to do flawlessly, it was to physically manipulate a situation. In that aspect, the night would go without a hitch.

But that wasn’t the part that mattered today.

Seth bit his tongue on his snide remark, deciding that with a night as important as this, he might want to stow some of the snark.

So he instead said, “Those colors suit you.”

“The eyes, I know,” Nik muttered. “Theo explained it to me,” he added with an eye roll.

Because Nik had no idea what any of that meant, of course. He had no clue how tantalizing he looked, or what he was doing to Seth under his carefully composed exterior.

What a beautiful idiot he was.

“I don’t mean physically,” Seth said. “I mean your personality. You look like the park in spring. It suits you.”

He never would have dared say it in front of Dante, whom he once swore to that he wasn’t the type to wax poetic.

Nik brought sides out of him he never knew he had.

Nik’s cheeks flushed slightly at the comment and he didn’t seem to have a reply. That was when Seth usually knew he’d said the right thing—Nik was only speechless when he was pleased, since he certainly liked to voice any negative emotions as loudly as possible.

Seth reached up and ran the back of one finger down his cheek and Nik dazedly met his eyes. He swallowed thickly and his tongue flicked out to wet his lips nervously and Seth forced himself not to catch it with his teeth, not to try to swallow Nik whole.

Not tonight.

“We have reservations,” Seth said after a moment. “We’ve got to go.”

“What, you didn’t set them for three hours from now?” asked Nik with half a smile.

Seth understood what he meant. That he doubted Seth could go two seconds without a fuck.

Not a good sign. In fact, a sign that maybe Theo was right after all.

Seth had to fix this.

“No, I didn’t,” Seth said steadily. He stepped away from the car door and opened it for Nik, who stared at him for a moment. “Have you never seen someone open a door before?” asked Seth a little snippily. Nik offered him a small smile to indicate that he saw right through Seth’s sass, saw his embarrassment clearly.

Nik was starting to know him far too well.

“Thank you,” Nik said quietly. Seth grunted, mentally cursing when he felt his face grow warm. Nik’s smile widened and he climbed into the car without a word.

Seth never ceased to be charmed by how much Nik liked his car. He looked around it like he’d never seen it before every time he entered it.

To be fair, Seth was little better. The machine was one of his most prized possessions. He had to pause to admire it almost every time he entered.

Not this time though. Seth was realizing for the first time that there was something far more appealing to look at than his car right now. Nik’s profile was as mesmerizing as his face straight on—Seth couldn’t find a part of it he didn’t want to lap with his tongue in that moment.

But no. Since he’d forced the sex from his mind, that image was inaccurate. He wanted to press soft lips to his eyelids, to the shadows his cheekbones and eyelashes cast on his face, under his ears, down his jawline.

He didn’t notice his hand shifting until Nik looked over to him in surprise. Seth’s hand had drifted to gently rest on Nik’s knee.

Nik tilted his head. “You okay, Seth? You’re acting… kind of weird.”

Strike two, thought Seth, trying not to sigh. Nik assumed that he was acting this way because something was wrong.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Seth said, feeling his pride wince at the sappy reply.

But it was true. The truest thing he could even think of in that moment.

Seth fully expected Nik to tease him—Nik, like Seth, wasn’t exactly romantic much of the time.

But instead, he smiled timidly, letting his hand slide to cover Seth’s. “Me too.”

And that response was enough for Seth’s pride to slither back into its hole and shut up for a while.

Seth reluctantly took his hand away so he could use it to operate the gear shift and they were off. Nik watched him drive like he’d never seen someone drive before as he always did and this time Seth didn’t make fun of him for it, which meant Nik never looked away in embarrassment. By the time Seth slid into a parking spot, Nik’s eyes on him for so long had him just a little flustered.

 _No sex_ , he told himself. _Not tonight_.

He couldn’t help but wonder if this was easier for other people. If he had some sort of sex addiction that he needed checked out, because this was fucking ridiculous.

Or maybe anyone felt this way in the face of such flawless, effortless beauty.

Seth finally looked over to Nik and was relieved to find that he himself looked a bit dazed. Nobody could say Seth was the only horny one in the pair of them.

“Come on,” Seth said.

Nik nodded and got out of the car, looking at the front of the high-end steakhouse Seth had brought them to warily. “We could’ve gone somewhere less…”

“Opulent?” Seth suggested helpfully.

“I was thinking garish, but okay.”

Seth rolled his eyes. The man couldn’t be pleased. “The food is worth the environment, I can assure you.” He just barely managed to keep the coldness from his voice.

“I believe you,” Nik said, going a little red. “But…” He looked down at himself, glanced at Seth, and then looked at the door guardedly.

Seth stopped walking, realizing where Nik’s mind had gone. “It’s on me, you know that,” he said, sounding just the slightest bit impatient.

“Everything’s always on you.”

“I’m rich. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Nik didn’t respond, but he looked uncomfortable. Seth couldn’t begin to understand why. It made no sense. Seth had the money, Nik didn’t. Why did it have to be more complicated than that?

“Nikolas. Don’t be silly. I don’t mind, okay?”

Nik didn’t respond and didn’t meet Seth’s eyes. He’d started wrenching his hands in front of him.

Damn it. Why did he have to be so… _so_ …

One of the most gifted students at a prestigious university couldn’t find any term that applied. There were no words for Nikolas Steele. None whatsoever.

So many people would want to date Seth for his money alone, and his money was one of Nik’s least favorite traits.

He was truly ridiculous.

Then his pride came out of its cave just long enough to remind him how he would feel if people treated him like a charity case.

Nik basically was one, he thought privately, but either way he imagined it didn’t feel good to be reminded of it all the time.

“How about this,” Seth suggested. Something in Seth’s voice made Nik glance up at Seth, looking at him through his lashes. Seth took a moment to admire him again before remembering he was saying something. “Next time we go out, you pick the place. And if it’d make you feel better, you can even pay.”

“Next time?” asked Nik. “Are we making a habit of going out now?” His tone was too blank for Seth to be able to interpret anything from it.

Seth’s uncharacteristic feeling of uncertainty flared once more, as it had too many times tonight. “Is that okay?” he asked, frustrated at the weakness in his voice.

He should have known Nik wouldn’t like this place. Was it selfish to pick such a nice establishment knowing it wasn’t Nik’s style? He thought it was the best way to make a grand gesture, as Theo had suggested, but Nik wasn’t like his other dates had ever been.

Damn it. How was he managing to do everything wrong already? Of course Nik was losing interest. Seth Prinsen, the incubus of the Academy, the master of seduction and manipulation, was utterly lost when it came to romance and authenticity. Winning a prize was as simple as breathing for him, but he’d never before even tried to keep said prize once it was won.

In short, he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

Seth thought all this in barely a second, and already Nik seemed to notice the way the Prinsen heir was curling in on himself, becoming unsure if he was kidding himself thinking he could make a romantic gesture without looking like an idiot. Nik stood up straighter and stepped in closer. “Of course that’s okay,” he said, his tone gentle. “That’s great.”

But Seth was too busy doubting himself. What was with him tonight? He was just making himself look stupider.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Nik said, making Seth stop beating himself up to look up at Nik in confusion.

“What are you apologizing for?”

“You clearly put work into making this special and I’m being a total ass about it.” He ran his hand through his hair, making one hair fall out of place. For some reason, it almost made Seth smile.

Seth finally got his fill of feeling like a bashful kid and unthinkingly grumbled, “It didn’t take that much work. Don’t be a fucking dork about it.”

Damn it. So much for holding his tongue.

But instead of it making Nik angry like Seth kind of expected, Nik grinned and shook his head. “There you are,” Nik said. “I knew you were hiding in there somewhere.”

Before Seth could ask what the hell he was on about, Nik leaned in and pressed a heated kiss to his mouth. Seth’s first instinct was to slam him into the nearest flat object, but in the interest of not fucking tonight, he had to find an alternative. So instead he curled his hand around the side of his neck, letting his thumb stroke the side of his face. He slowly slid his tongue into the other man’s mouth, letting them intermingle with a leisure their kissing usually lacked.

This had its merit in a way. It was so unhurried, so casual. Kissing without insistence gave the distinct impression that there was all the time in the world for urgency later.

Which, in this moment, was exactly the reassurance Seth needed. 

After less than a minute he backed away. They both managed to be a little breathless, even with the Herculean self-control Seth had just exhibited.

“Come on,” Nik said. “I thought you had reservations.”

Seth was half a second from saying fuck the reservations before remembering the whole point of tonight.

No.

Sex.

Jesus, this was harder than it needed to be.

But his momentary lapse in confidence had ended and he was feeling much better.

This was going to be okay.

“After you,” Seth purred as he stepped forward to open the door.

Nik shook his head and grinned fondly. “You’re so dramatic.”

“You love it,” Seth whispered as Nik walked by, relishing the shiver that he could see going down Nik’s spine.

The man at the front barely looked up. “Name?” he asked in a bored tone.

“Prinsen.”

He looked up and his eyes widened. “Oh. Hello sir. How are you tonight?”

“Fine. The usual spot.”

“Of course, sir. Right away, sir.” He turned and grabbed a passing waiter, who looked annoyed until he muttered a single word— _Prinsen_.

Then the man’s eyes mimicked the host’s and he nearly ran away, a tail almost visible between his legs.

“Jesus, Seth,” Nik whispered. “Way to rule with fear.”

“It gets things done.”

“Apparently.”

He knew Nik was teasing rather than judging, so he didn’t bother to defend himself further.

The waiter came back not ten seconds later. “Right this way, Mr. Prinsen.”

They were taken to his table, which he liked because it was placed far enough away from anyone to ensure privacy, but also in view of most of the restaurant, which was great for people-watching in case conversation topics ran low. The latter wasn’t as much of an issue with Nik as it had been with strangers he wanted to sleep with, but habit caused him to keep the same table anyway.

“This place is insane,” Nik whispered, looking around at the red and gold decorating, at the dripping chandeliers. Nik had become more accustomed to the lifestyle of the fabulously wealthy of late—he commented less and less on things like this—so it really spoke to the quality of this establishment that he felt the need to mention how nice it was.

In all honesty, it was even a little gaudy for Seth. Too bright. Maybe he was biased, but he appreciated a little darkness to an establishment. It set a nice mood.

Then again, a mood was what Seth needed to avoid at the moment.

Seth and Nik began to chat over a fantastic bottle of wine. Seth hadn’t kept track of how long it had been since they ordered their food, as preoccupied as he was with their conversation. It didn’t matter if the wait ended up being three hours. He wasn’t likely to even notice the time passing.

Seth was feeling infinitely better than earlier. He couldn’t figure out why he’d been so sure this was going to go wrong. He and Nik were together all the time. As much as Seth was absolutely horrid at the romantic part of things, they talked a lot. Sometimes they’d stay up all night talking—Seth had never enjoyed talking to someone as much as he liked to talk to Nik, in fact.

So even though they were in a restaurant and dressed up and this was officially labeled a date, it wasn’t different than usual. Not really. And definitely nothing to be afraid of.

Seth just had to build up the guts to do what he planned to do while making sure Nik was in the best mood possible before doing it.

In short, he was going to ask Nik to be his boyfriend.

It was cheesy and that knowledge was almost physically painful when he really thought about it, but Theo had said to make a gesture and this seemed like the one to make. Nik needed to know for certain that Seth wasn’t fucking around with this—he was done with how he used to be and committed to making this work.

“This is weird,” Nik said suddenly.

Seth couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Seriously? Is it that shocking to be in a place with decent décor?”

“No, not that,” Nik said. “I mean usually when I go places with you, people look at me like I’m the dog that followed you home. But since I’m dressed up, they’re looking at me differently. Kind of like they look at you, actually.”

Seth hadn’t thought a lot about how people look at Nik. The only looks he bothered to notice were the ones that were lustful so he could glare them into looking away. It wouldn’t surprise Seth if people looked down on Nik, since his normal attire screamed of poverty, but they likely wouldn’t dare to let Seth notice.

Seth did not waste time with people who were not worth spending it on. Looking down on Nik was a direct insult to Seth’s taste in people, which he was not willing to accept.

“They’re looking at you like they should be,” Seth said in a blasé manner. “You and I are the best looking couple that’s ever set foot in this place.”

“If they knew I was poor they wouldn’t be calling me ‘sir’ so much.”

“Who cares?” Seth muttered. “They’re idiots if they can only see your worth when you’re in a suit. You look great in everything.”

“You’ve said that before.”

“Because it’s true.”

Nik looked down at his lap bashfully, smiling to himself. “Uh, hey, Seth?”

“Hm?” he asked over his wine glass.

“Is there… uh… a reason you took me out like this? I know you said you wanted to make a habit of it. And I think that sounds great. It just seems random. I wondered if there was something you wanted to talk about.”

Seth intended to wait until Nik was fed, but his tone was casual and a faint smile was on his lips. His cheeks were just a little pink from the wine, which was hitting him a bit faster since they hadn’t yet eaten.

Well. Maybe this was a good time then.

Seth felt a little bit of nervousness try to build up again, but he shoved it down. This was Nik. The man who knew him better than anyone. The only one who could break down his walls.

“Yes. Actually, I did want to talk about something,” Seth said. “Nothing bad,” he added quickly at the expression on Nik’s face. “In fact, I’d say it’s something good.”

“Okay,” Nik said, his smile managing to be a mixture of delight, nerves, and bemusement.

Seth cleared his throat. His internal pep talk wasn’t working as well now that this was really happening. There was no feeling worse than not knowing what you’re doing, than feeling like you were just winging it and it could go very, very wrong.

But it wasn’t going to go wrong, because this was Nik, he kept telling himself.

“We, uh,” Seth murmured. He stopped and Nik smiled—he wasn’t teasing, not when he realized that Seth was having serious trouble. He was smiling encouragingly. “Did I tell you that you look great?” Seth asked weakly.

Nik smiled wider, looking away nervously. “You might have mentioned…”

And then the smile slowly slipped from his face as he seemed to forget what he had been saying.

Seth blinked. “Nik?” he asked.

Nik didn’t respond. He continued to stare to the side, his expression somewhere between grave and terrified. Seth looked around, trying to follow his gaze, but it was impossible to know what he was looking at. It could’ve been the host, or the guests waiting, or the silly ficus across the room.

“Nik?” asked Seth again tentatively, wanting to reach for him but seeing that none of him was within arms’ length.

Nik’s mouth was hanging dumbly open. “I. Uh. I need to go to the bathroom.”

And before Seth could ask, Nik ran away, seeming to be hiding his face from someone at the front of the restaurant.

Seth looked to the front and after a moment saw a teacher from the Academy, Professor White, who was here with a date—it was easy enough to tell they weren’t casually out to eat because of how close they were standing.

Huh. Seth hadn’t known he was interested in men.

But he couldn’t imagine Nik had looked like that on account of an English teacher. From what Nik had said about him, he was Nik’s favorite professor.

So what the hell had gotten him so scared?

The food arrived while Nik was gone and Seth ignored it.

Nik came back when too much time had passed for him to have taken a quick piss. Unless he was shitting, which was unlikely, he’d been in there having a heart attack over whatever he’d seen.

Nik’s expression could only be described as carefully composed now.

“I’m sorry,” he said with an easy grin. “I just remembered a big homework assignment is due tomorrow and freaked out. It’s alright. Dante did the whole thing himself again. I think he might think I’m stupid,” he added with a teasing smile.

Seth was just looking at Nik carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Nik’s eyes oh-so-casually drifted around the room and settled on something for barely a moment before resolutely looking away. Seth quickly followed the gaze.

Maybe he’d been wrong about how Nik felt about Professor White, because the table he looked at was the one that occupied he and his date. Had they had some sort of altercation that Seth hadn’t heard about?

Had White shown interest in Nik at some point?

Seth spared the man a quick glare at the thought. Everyone knew Nikolas Steele was off limits by now, even the professors. He better lay off.

Then again, he couldn’t have shown much genuine interest, considering how he was acting with his more than a little attractive date. He was, in all honesty, a little _too_ good looking for Professor White. Maybe the date was a gold digger.

He didn’t spare them his gaze for more than a couple seconds. Nik was looking down at his food like he wasn’t hungry anymore. Nik noticed him about ten seconds later.

“Weren’t you saying something?” asked Nik. “Sorry, you’ve got my attention now.”

But Seth didn’t have his attention. He pretended to be listening, but he was entirely absorbed by something else. Seth couldn’t fathom what that something else was, but he was starting to get a bad feeling.

“No, actually, you’ve got mine,” Seth said. “What the hell happened?”

“I told you, I have a project—”

“Remember when I told you that liars know their own?” Seth cut in. “I can tell you’re lying, so stop trying. Just tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly it does,” Seth said, his patience wearing thin.

Nik sighed quietly. “Please, we were having such a good time. I don’t want to ruin—”

“Nikolas,” Seth cut in, his voice firm but not unkind. “If something’s upset you, I want you to tell me. Why would you need to hide something from me?”

Nik was quiet for a moment before saying again, “It doesn’t matter.” Before Seth could get angry, he corrected himself. “It _shouldn’t_ matter, okay? It caught me by surprise, but it’s not worth my attention. So can you just drop it?”

“Did something happen with Dr. White?”

“What?” Nik asked blankly. “No.”

Seth, as much as he said he could tell when someone was lying, didn’t hear dishonesty in his voice.

“Well you keep looking his way, and you look upset.”

“Goddamn it,” Nik finally grumbled loudly. “You’re going to make me say it? You don’t want to hear it. I know you don’t.”

Well that was certainly foreboding, but Seth’s curiosity was burning too hot to be ignored. “Try me.”

Nik grit his teeth and muttered something about stubbornness to his plate. Then he said quietly, “I’m not looking at Dr. White. I’m looking at the guy with him.”

“You know him?” asked Seth in confusion. He definitely wasn’t a professor at the Academy and Nik never ran into people he knew around town unless it was someone Seth knew as well. Maybe someone from high school? No, this man was significantly older than them. So someone from his last university—

Oh.

Oh _shit_.

Seth looked back over to the good looking man, who was laughing with Dr. White, having no idea who was across the room from him.

“That…” Seth murmured, his throat a little dry. “That’s… him?”

“Yeah. That’s my ex.”

His ex. Who had endangered his career to make Nik a better person. Who had taken Nik’s virginity with no motive except affection. Who had pursued him against his better judgement.

Seth had purposely hurt Nik because he knew that having a boyfriend might not be good for his grades. That man had gone out of his way to have Nik even knowing that he could lose his job over it.

Seth stood up. “I have to go to the bathroom too.”

Nik sighed. “I knew you’d be mad.”

“I’m not mad,” Seth said quickly. “Why would I be? We all have a past. I’ll be right back.”

Seth rushed away.

And he wasn’t mad. He honestly wasn’t.

At least not with Nik.

Seth felt inadequacy stack on his shoulders like a thousand bricks as he stared at himself in the mirror. He looked at his own lovely face, at his hair that lay perfectly without effort… and he hated what he saw. He felt ugly in a way he never had before.

Nik was sitting with Seth, the lousy spoiled brat who had been against being with him in the first place because of his ambition, who was always screwing up, who didn’t know how to be romantic for the life of him…

But would Nik rather be sitting with that other man?

Sure, Nik was never going to be with him again, but that wasn’t the point. Nik was now sitting at their table trying not to stare at him—or maybe, now that Seth was gone, was openly watching him—and Seth started to picture in his mind what Nik must’ve been thinking.

Nik was realizing that what he had with Seth wasn’t what he wanted. It was sex and confusion and must’ve looked really stupid in comparison to the forbidden romance he’d once had. The man that had done so much to try to help him, the one that had risked everything for him. And what had Seth ever done for Nik? Fuck him, call him a whore and spit in his face, abandon him, come crawling back two days later groveling for forgiveness… and he’d won Nik by some fucking miracle. Since then, all he’d managed to supply was sex. And sure, in Seth’s universe, a phenomenal sex life went a long way. But not for Nik. He wanted love. Romance.

Which Seth seemed to be unable to supply the way he wanted to, no matter how hard he tried.

Seth was going to lose him. And there was nothing he was capable of doing to fix it.

Someone opened the door and he made to look like he was washing his hands or something…

Until he saw that the person who had come in was Nik.

And he looked a little angry.

What, had he realized that Seth sucked in the short amount of time he’d been sitting alone? Was he going to indignantly tell Seth that he never treat him right and then leave?

Then Nik said, “It is so unfair for you to be mad right now. How many people have you slept with that we ran into around town? I never cared, and now the single ex that I have—”

It took this long for Seth to register that what Nik was saying was stupid. He cut him off. “I told you, I’m not angry.”

“Then why are you hiding in the bathroom?” he asked exasperatedly. “What I had with him was in the past.”

“I know that, Nik,” Seth snapped, getting impatient himself.

“Then what the hell is wrong? Because you’re obviously upset about something.”

Seth didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with him. There were so many emotions building up inside of him that he couldn’t control them. He couldn’t even name them. He just felt so useless and stupid and Nik was standing there, so close but so damn far away, and he didn’t know what to do or what to say and—

“ _Argh_!” was the incoherent yell that ripped past his lips as he swung around and punched the wall. The sound was loud and would likely bring someone into the bathroom.

He couldn’t look at Nik, not when he was feeling this weak, so he just glared down at the floor as he heaved in breath.

Neither of them said anything before a waiter rushed in. “What—”

“Nobody enters,” Seth snarled.

The waiter looked at him in fear before saying, “Yes, Mr. Prinsen. Of course. Just… try to keep it down, won’t you?”

Seth just growled and the man yelped and ran out.

He finally looked up at Nik, who looked close to furious. “Sure. You’re not mad at all. Glad we cleared that up.”

Seth grunted exasperatedly. “No, Nik, I’m not—”

“No. You’re just slamming shit around like a madman.”

“Nik—”

“It’s not like I ever thought I would see him again. There’s no reason for you to be this—”

“ _Nikolas_!” Nik stopped and ground his teeth as he glared at Seth. “For the last time, I’m not angry.”

“Then what are you?” Nik snapped. “Because usually when people punch walls they—”

“I’m scared, Nik.”

He’d said it more quietly than anything else since they entered this bathroom, but Nik heard him. “What?” he asked blankly.

Seth exhaled and slumped back against the wall. “I’m not angry. Not at you. I’m… I’m waiting for everything to fall apart.”

Nik looked confused, which probably meant he hadn’t worked through how he’s actually feeling yet.

Was Seth actually going to talk Nik through his realization that he didn’t want Seth anymore?

With an internal sigh, he realized yes, he was.

“That man… he gave you so much. He poured all this love and effort into you that I… I…” Seth looked at the floor, lost for words on how to describe his own insufficiency. “I try. And you may not even know that I’m trying, because my effort is pathetic, but I want this to work. I asked you out tonight so I could make things more official, but why would you want me when you could find someone more like him? Someone who’s romantic, who—”

“Seth.” Seth might’ve ignored it except that the voice was coming from a lot closer than he expected. When he looked up Nik was right in front of him, his expression soft. When black eyes met blue, a smile inched onto Nik’s face. “Seth, you brilliant idiot,” he muttered.

Seth began to prickle up defensively and Nik laughed, the sound light. He grabbed Seth’s face and planted a kiss to his mouth—a kiss like Seth had never felt before. No heat, no sex. Nothing but pure affection was in that kiss, and the unfamiliar feeling nearly suffocated Seth in the moment that Nik was pressing his lips against him. Then he backed away so he could look Seth in the eyes, but kept his hands on either side of his face.

“I don’t miss what I had with him. I don’t want anything but what I have with you.”

Seth stared. Wait… what?

“But he—”

“He hid me away like a princess in a tower. He, even though he never really admitted it, was ashamed of me. And sure, I don’t blame him for that, considering how things turned out, but I don’t want to go back to that.” Seth opened his mouth, not even sure what he planned to say when he did, but Nik kept talking. “When I’m with you, you act like I’m something worth flaunting. You’re… proud to be with me, and who could ever be proud of someone like me?”

Seth blinked at Nik uncomprehendingly. “Who wouldn’t be proud to be with you?” he asked blankly.

Nik smiled wider. “That’s what I’m talking about, Seth. Nobody has ever made me feel so wanted. So worthy of their attention. And feeling worthy of _your_ attention, of all people, is something I would’ve thought impossible a couple months ago.” Nik chuckled for a second before continuing, “When he got fired over me, he never spoke to me again. Which I again don’t blame him for,” Nik added quickly, “but you… even though you were so scared to be with me, even though you lost your spot as the top student in the Academy because you fell for me, that didn’t stop you. Well. At least not for long.” He said it teasingly, but it still made shame swell in Seth’s chest. Nik forced him to look up at him again by sheer will alone—Seth could feel those bright eyes on him and couldn’t bring himself to keep avoiding them. “I’m with you because I want to be with you. I’m not dreaming about what could have been, because what I have now is what I honestly want.”

Somehow none of it really sank in until Nik said that. Or maybe Seth just hadn’t believed him before. But Nik was being genuine, there was no question about that.

Nik didn’t mind Seth’s weaknesses.

He wanted to make this work too.

“Will you be my boyfriend? Officially?”

It just came out. He only realized after saying it that maybe it wasn’t the most perfect timing.

Nik laughed again, resting his head against Seth’s. “Of course, Mr. Prinsen. Right away, sir.”

Seth snorted out a quick laugh, rolling his eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

Nik leaned in and kissed him. “Ditto,” he replied. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere.”

Seth nodded and Nik took him by the hand and they left the bathroom. They didn’t walk to the table, but to the door.

Seth knew they’d automatically charge the meal to his card, so it didn’t matter that they were leaving, but he thought Nik might want to eat.

He didn’t even look towards the table though.

Then, as they walked towards the door and Seth couldn’t help but look towards Dr. White’s table…

The other man looked up and saw Nik.

He stared at Nik with eyes wide, and the latter was too busy looking at Seth, saying something Seth couldn’t hear. Their hands were intertwined between them and the man clearly saw as much.

Seth looked at the man blankly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that Seth knew who he was.

And maybe Seth imagined it, but there was something in that man’s face that was regretful. That realized Nik had been special and he’d probably been wrong in letting him get away.

Seth didn’t spare him any more of his attention after that. He looked over to Nik, who was looking at Seth with an expectant expression.

“What?” asked Seth.

“I asked you a question.”

“Oh,” Seth muttered. “I was distracted. What did you ask?”

Nik rolled his eyes. “I asked if you want to go make something at your place.”

“Sure,” Seth replied as they went out the door and towards his car.

“And maybe this time we’ll actually eat rather than fucking over the table.”

“I make no promises.”

Nik barked out a quick laugh. “I love you,” he said fondly.

Seth looked to him for only a second in surprise. “I love you too,” he responded quietly.

Nik stopped in front of the passenger door and afforded Seth a sweet smile. Then he asked, his tone timid, “So does that mean I get to drive?”

Seth rolled his eyes. “Not a chance in hell, commoner.”

“But I thought you loved me,” he said with a pout.

“I take it back.”

Nik grinned. “No you don’t.”

Seth stared at Nik—he felt like he had looked at that face a million times, but somehow this time he saw things he didn’t always see consciously. He saw his genuine smile, his eyes bright with the simple fact that Seth was there with him.

Yes, Nik was beautiful, but there was something beneath the surface that was almost more attractive than the gorgeous shell it hid in.

He opened the door for Nik and got in on the other side. Seth quickly leaned in and gave Nik a searing kiss.

He’d been trying to go for that affectionate kiss from the bathroom, but it was clearly harder than it seemed, because Seth was already massaging Nik’s tongue with his own and his whole body was on fire the way it always was when Nik touched him.

Seth forced himself to back away and they were both panting. He looked Nik up and down hungrily.

He really did look magnificent in that suit.

How much better would he look without it?

“I mean, I’m not that hungry,” Nik said breathlessly. “We could skip food. For an hour or two.”

Seth smirked. “I like the way you think.”

And he peeled from the lot, wanting to get home as fast as he could.

Well. The no sex thing had been a nice thought.

Easier said than done.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been looking into this and I think I might actually have written the first ever fic for this book. So when it's famous I'll have bragging rights out the wazoo. 
> 
> I'd write a Theo/Dante fic, or even a Theo/Nik fic, but I don't feel like I comfortably know Theo well enough to write him with any accuracy and seeing as he is perfect, I would feel bad if I screwed him up. I feel like I already screwed up Seth a little because I made him too unsure of himself. In this story, it just felt like the right thing to do. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
